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Monday, May 23, 2016

My worst day ever

W.A.L.T recall  events through the eyes of an animal.

Success Criteria
I know I will be successful when my recount has a

  • Title
  • Orientation:  When? Who? Where? Why?
  • Sequence of events:  What happened? Describe using the senses (hear, taste, see, smell and feel).
  • Personal Comment:  How did the events make you feel?

           First Draft

My Worst Day Ever

It was nice and sunny day and my mom  and daddy buffalo and the me was go for run and went for drink and go back home. The bad lion tries to get the me  and eat them and here come the rest of them. The crocodile came out of the water and the me fall over the water and mom buffalo was fall me  out of water.

5 comments:

  1. That's really good Jolly-rose. I have seen other peoples blogs and saw highlight but you didn't I am so happy. How long did it take you?

    ReplyDelete
  2. thick for ages but thank you for helping me out.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I really enjoyed reading your story because you tell us what was happening like when you talk about other animals the story .i think you need more sentences to your story and more detailed and make your sure it make sense and punctuation to use in your sentences

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hi jolly me your friend Dominique I really like your work keep the god
    work

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nice work Jolly Rose
      I like how you did it but I think you can improve it more and add more sentences and details about it. Anyway, I liked it keep up the good work.

      Delete

Comments
Please structure your comments as follows:
Positive - Something done well
Thoughtful - A sentence to let us know you actually read/watched or listened to what they had to say
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