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Thursday, March 8, 2018

Writing

As I tasted the Ice cream it tasted like Ice cream with mint with gummy bear from gummy bear land, so the Ice cream feel cold with smell minty in the inside that is super tasty in the outside. When I tasted the lollies it tasted like gummy bears but hard to chew and the lollies taste like fruity. I never like gummy bears and sometime I like Gummy bears and to be honest I’ve never taste Mint this is my first one tasting Mint. Since it was my first tasting mint I felt like I was and candy world, I’m eating all of the Lollies in the candy World that would be my best day ever.

3 comments:

  1. Good job Jolly-rose I really like when you added, what does it really taste and this is a good work, you should really put some full stop and put some paragraph, anyways keep up the good work.

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  2. Hello jolly-rose, it is me Emily and I think that your writing is amazing. I was wondering what this was about because when I started to read it there was no description so Where is it? Maybe next time you could put more of a explanation on what you are writing about instead of making people wonder what you were doing.

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  3. Great Job Jolly-Rose, I really liked your amazing story you described it well. I especially like the part when you said " As I tasted the Ice cream it tasted like Ice cream with mint with gummy bear from gummy bear land," It really describes how you feel about it. I think you should add a description on what is happening and check you punctuation and sentences. Anyways keep up the good work.

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